My Bitmoji, drawn by me!  Called: The first sign of fall...      Today is going to just be simple! I LOVE seeing other peoples creative process! So I thought it would be fun to show you guys mine!       I did this simple, low detail doodle just for fun to show you guys a small clip of how I work! Creatively, I am all over the place and I just do things in the order my brain tells me to do them! Which is probably not correct, but in my opinion, there is no REAL right way or wrong way to art!   

     All right! So yesterday was a super weird, unexplainable day! I don’t even want to get into the specifics! But today, I am feeling much better and I feel like I was much more productive and the day went a lot smoother than I had hoped!     I got to sleep in a bit!   I got a bomb protein shake from my favorite health place!   I got Qdoba for dinner!   And I found out my sister booked me (what was supposed to be a surprise but she sucks at them) tattoo appointment for me to get my half sleeve! The appointment is on Wednesday and I am SO STOKED! I’ve been wanting it for such a long time! But couldn’t see dropping 500$ on it! It’s booked, deposit is paid and I couldn’t be more excited!        I’ll definitely keep you all updated! It’s a 4 hour time slot! That’s the longest I will have sat for a tattoo and I am slightly nervous! Only because it’s a lot to get tattooed all at once! But, I am confident I’ll do just fine!   ...

     I don ’t have anything to report today! It was a a long and weird day!         Now I am not feeling the greatest and I think I am going to go and lay down!         I hope you’re all having blessed weeks and I promise I’ll give you something to read again very soon!   XOXO 

The last two days man!        I spent my entire night and morning (Until 7 am that is!) cleaning out my old plus size clothes! (FREAKIN’ YAY!)         I underestimated how many clothes I actually have! It’s a flipping TON!         So, I cleaned out my closet AND my dresser and threw away tons and put a lot in the donate/sell pile!         Basically all of my clothes have tags still on them and or have only been worn once or twice!         I am thrilled to say that I’ve put together a bundle that is literally a like HALF of what I have! I get to say goodbye to that tomorrow! YAY!         Then I ran errands, borrowed my dads truck, ran stuff to the storage unit, picked up some odds and ends and delivered some goods!        Came home for 45 minutes, packed food, went to my nephews soccer game, sat at that for 2 hours and then w...

     Warning: Suicide references below.        I’ve been using Sunday’s as reflection days! I take time to be grateful for everything that I have, my health, my families health and everything in between!         It sounds small, but I never used to give myself a day where I could just sit back and be grateful for my life. Mostly because I never used to be grateful for it. I hated every single day where I was still struggling though life. Even on good days, I just couldn’t cling onto anything positive!         If you’ve been following along, you know that I struggled with my mental health for a really long time. I thought dying was the only way to be truly free. Truly happy. And I thought everyone’s lives would be better without me, because that’s how it seemed.         I wasn’t a whiz in school.      I wasn’t popular. Like my other siblings.     ...

     It ’s my one year cholecystectomy-aversary!        One year ago today at approximately 1:30 AM I had my sister drive me to the E.R.         I remember it like it was yesterday! It was easily the worst pain i’d ever felt!    My symptoms:   Pain when I took a deep breath.   Worsening pain when I tried to lay down. Shooting pain, everywhere. Shortness of breath. Flu like symptoms.          And the worst of them all:        It literally felt like I was drowning in my own fluids. It literally gives me chills just thinking about it! Because it was the one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced!         My gallbladder was infected and I had stones blocking my main bile duct. And it was as a result of my rapid weight loss!         After many hours of tests, IV drugs, painful examinations and hours of freezing t...

     I’ve been in zoom meetings virtually all day today!  Doing training to learn better and more efficient ways to help assist struggling English college students revise!  It’s one of the best parts of this job! Learning new ways to help young adults!         I didn’t really have a chance to prepare a topic for the day and I definitely didn’t do anything amazing enough to report! Especially since I was trapped indoors in my office on a screen all day!         One thing that I hate about zooms is that I have to wake up and make myself look like an actual human being! Today, I put in a little more effort than normal and I have to say that it felt good to get primped up and do some self care on myself for a change! Since normally I don’t wear makeup or falsies let alone take the time to curl my hair!      Sometimes self care looks a little different than you'd think!      Any...

         I missed telling you all, HAPPY FIRST DAY OF FALL!         That was yesterday, but still relevant in my opinion!         I am SO ready for the shift, the changing leaves, the crisp air, the cozy clothes, the no need for excuses, hot beverages, rice bags, nights spent at home, introverts season!         I bought a tote yesterday so that I can pack away all of my summer clothes and make room for all the fall/winter clothes I’ve purchased recently. (YAY for being moderately organized!)        I know, I know, “LeSs iS MoRe” but damn it, I NEEDED new clothes that actually fit me and I won’t apologize for choosing myself for a change! SO, yeah!         I went grocery shopping yesterday and bought all the things and yet, today I still made nothing for dinner. So now it’s 5:30PM and I have nothing even started for dinner. Nothing unthawed, not...

     I am easily entertained, yet complexly bored! I am aware of how asinine that sounds! Here ’s the weird truth! I absolutely love doing stuff and I find that when I am not doing SOMETHING, even if I am relaxing in bed, I am so incredibly, BORED!         I can easily find things to entertain me! Sometimes it’s as little as trolling though my Apple Music and adding more song/albums I think i’d like! Sometimes it’s tearing out all of my poly clay and making jewelry or jewelry dishes! Other times, it’s endlessly and mindlessly trolling the internet for random shit I know I will never buy!       I am a very complex human being! But, aren’t we all?!          Today was such a wonderful day! I went and picked up groceries, did some fun shopping, snagged some, YOU GUESSED IT, QDOBA for dinner!         Came home, took care of groceries, mashed my dinner, relaxed awhile and then made so...

           Today I am setting aside time to clean! I have stuff to take to my storage unit and I have SO, SO many clothes to go through and get rid of!         As most of you know, a year and some change ago I committed myself to losing weight and starting a journey that I never thought I could ever in a million years do or succeed at!        Losing weight has always been so hard for me, impossible to stick to and my depression and anxiety never allowed me to get very far!         I’ve successfully lost over 100 pounds and working towards more! I don’t need to be skinny! Just confident in who I am and how I feel!         So, I have my big girl clothes still, process weight loss clothes, and current clothes. I am SWIMMING in clothing! So I desperately need to go through it all and get rid of stuff that I know I will never wear again!       ...

     I think what my soul needs is a quaint fall day!     Here ’s what I NEED:  Cider Donuts Wine   Hayrides Pumpkins Sunflowers A cozy sweater Boots Crisp air          I've been pretty much doing nothing but working on illustrations for my cook book! BUT, I made some time to create for fun! Here's one of the best fall traditions in my personal opinion and as a bonus, I made it from memory of one of my favorite places!      Yeah, that sounds absolutely amazing and I think it ’s probably exactly what I need in order to help me work on my mental health! Often times I forget that my mental health is often tied to my mundane daily routine!         I wake up, I get some coffee, I stretch and or workout,  eat (often times the same meal s) then wash up and get to work.        Doing the same thing every single day literally kills my spirit! Working from home is HARD, you ...

     There ’s a lot going on in the world a lot of tragedy, heartache and sadness.       It’s hard to find the good when all you see everywhere is devastation.          It’s more important than ever to find the positive in moments and not to take things for granted. Like your health, your wealth, family, little moments and anything in between.         I will be the first to admit that lately I am feeling so off, so strange and just down. I know for me, it’s seasonal. A lot of it anyway! But I do think that some of it has to do with all the shit happening all around us!         It is so important to be KIND. Everyone is going through shit and you never know what people are battling! SO PLEASE, for the love of everything holy, PLEASE just be kind! Show compassion and let me revert to some childhood lessons: if you don’t have anything nice to say, just keep your fucking mouth shut!...

     Well, I ’m back up and running! The difference is, it’s not full speed! I know that burning my candle at both ends isn’t going to get me where I want to be! Understanding the way that my brain works is crucial to knowing me, understanding me and being in my life.         Many people look at me as a jobless.        I don’t work a 9-5 M-F... So I’m automatically, “jobless”        They don’t see what happens behind the scenes of my life   I’m a writer A boutique owner where 90% of the things in it are handmade by me I’m an illustrator I’m teaching myself art (from top to bottom) I’m teaching myself ASL I’m a full time auntie, those kids come first, always Jewelry maker Tutor  Color Street business owner I’ve started a new clay jewelry/item endeavor I’m always finding ways to educate myself I’m there whenever anyone needs me, usually no questions asked. I am constantly working on new, healthy reci...

     The fact that I've  been incredibly off lately is an understatement! I can’t even explain it! The fact that I've been so focused on work and trying to get to all of my Nephew and Niece’s sporting events, being creative, allowing myself to adventure, working out, everyday responsibilities, making sure my social life (however small it is) doesn’t die, keeping up with my online businesses and creating content, making new, sellable things, writing every single day, tutoring, remembering to eat, and eat healthy and everything else in between!          My life feels CRAZY! But, in the best possible ways! I know I am burnt out and tired, I know that I don’t dedicate enough time to working out and sleeping! I probably should drink less caffeine! (I’ve switched to Dandy Blend to help!) and as a bonus it helps my non-gallbladder malfunctioning body!         Needless to say, I am doing my absolute best trying to juggle all ...

     I needed a total break today from my as of late reality!          So for a change, I slept as LONG as I could today! And then when my sister got home from work, I asked to to come adventuring with me and we went to Hobby Lobby and got Qdoba for dinner! (Yasss! My favorite place on the planet right now!)        I wanted to go to Hobby Lobby to see if I could find some material for a new endeavor I am testing out! As some of you know, I have owned and operated a boutique since 2017 and I make a plethora of things!    Handmade jewelry (all types!) Custom paintings Custom clothing Bleach dyes/reverse dyes Sewing projects Color street nails I dabble in candle making Custom mugs/cups/totes Custom holiday themed wreaths!         And I am sure more that I am forgetting!        I have been wanting to jump into making clay jewelry for such a long time! So I finally made the plun...

           I have been so engrossed in my current project that I haven ’t had time to do much of anything else. I feel like I am going crazy a little bit! I have also been looking at screens for a zillion hours, so that probably doesn’t help much! And if I am being honest, I’m not getting much sleep.         Today, I will be honest, I don’t have anything serious to share with you all, I am simply honoring my commitment to write a blog post every single day! That is the raw and honest truth. I mean some of these posts are completely forced and I don’t want to set aside time to even write them, but I do nonetheless, because I take my commitments seriously.         I just got off of my iPad, I have been drawing for the last few hours and then hopped right onto the computer to get this written.         I’m tired, my body hurts, my eyes hurt, my brain hurts, everything hurts! Drawing isn’...

    The last few days I have been really doubling down on my artwork! I decided that I was going to illustrate my entire project instead of using photos. Which is double maybe even triple the work for me, but I am confident that It will further personalize it to me! It’ll allow me to get my artwork out there and allow me to use my writing skills as well!           I feel like I haven’t slept in 2 weeks but, I know that it’ll be worth it in the end!         Other than that, I am juggling family, work, social life, responsibilities and trying to keep myself happy!         I’m planning a vacation and I seriously cannot wait! I desperately need a break from my everyday life! I need adventure, I need NEW and I need out of the ordinary! So to say I am excited is an understatement!         My life is full, busy. Stressful and at times down right unbearable! But I’m alive and ...