Sometimes I feel like a broken record, but I feel like a broken women.  Here's what I mean: I have a small chance of having a baby naturally due to being born with PCOS. I also have Endometriosis.  I don't have a properly working gut, like it repels food, at all costs. I don't drink wine, I can't stomach it ( I felt like this is an important one)  My anxiety level is through the actual roof. Hello anxiety disorder!       I just feel inadequate in a lot of forms of life. Which isn't my fault, it's just a product of my brain and the way it works!       I'm tired of feeling this way but sometimes, when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you just see the darkness and it feels like there's something wrong with you as a person.       Today I feel like there's something wrong with me! But I know that's just my brain talking!  XOXO 

     Another day, another stomachache!       I am a broken record these days and if you've stopped reading my blog because of it, I don't blame you! Because I am fucking boring!       I mean, maybe you find the drama of my mysterious medical condition fascinating, but I certainly don't! I'm fucking over it! I'm sick of the stomach aches and late nights feeling like absolute shit!       I'm tired of no doctor being able to just be like, "oh YES, THIS is what is wrong with you" without a zillion tests being run! But NAH, I am like a goddamn pin cushion!       I'm going back to bed, because that's where I feel most at home as of late.       Goodnight, folks!  XOXO 

     Tonight I tried my had at making homemade gluten free fettuccine! I got a new attachment for my Kitchenaid stand mixer and I of course had to give it a whirl!       So I made a homemade gluten free dairy free, alfredo sauce, veggie burger, bacon, vegan shreds, with spinach fettuccine!! Spices include, garlic, onion, pepper and everything seasoning!       For my first time making homemade pasta, gluten free at that, I am impressed!       I 10/10 will be making it again!  XOXO   

     Is it just me or are companies becoming more and more outrageous with their, "Wait times" when they've made shipping errors?!      I took a chance on a small business, spent a lot of money with them, and when my order arrived, nearly 10 days later, they sent some of the wrong items!       I was calm, I didn't get angry, I simply followed THEIR instructions for errors that they gave on their invoice.       It took them SEVEN days to reply to my email. Monday to a Monday. And when they did reply this is all it said,       "Thank you for giving us a chance to rectify our mistake, your replacement has been sent out"      THAT'S LITERALLY FUCKING IT! RUDE, RIGHT?!       I don't know, I guess that's not the way I would run my business, I would be literally tripping over myself apologizing so I had repeat business, but apparently, they don't care about all that...

     When your sweet elderly neighbor calls you to thank you for the zucchini bread that you made for him and he asks you if there would be any way that you could make vegan gluten free “Anything” (in his words!) for his granddaughter who has allergies birthday, you say ABSOLUTELY! And get to work! And then you make some for yourself too!      GF/V Glazed confetti cake donuts!      Also my good deed of the week is done, don’t nobody ask me for nothing, 😂😂😂 totally just kidding!

     OKAY, the new meds make me TIRED and one side effect so far is nausea and a headache.  The problem is this: I'm nauseated 85%-90% of the time anyway, so who can really tell I have headaches a lot of the time, a side effect of my gerd medication.     I'm sad to admit this but I am really struggling with all of this as of late! I felt amazing for two years, got my shit together, lost weight, and finally felt like a person again!      Then, I had emergency surgery to have my gallbladder removed and my life changed and has been flipped upside down in its entirety over the last year!      This is about to get mad graphic, so stop reading if you don't want to know:  Nausea 95% of the time Loss of appetite Can't consume most foods without them coming right out of my backend... IYKYK I just don't feel good,  a lot of the time I'm held together by medications I now have gerd/really bad heartburn (Yet to be deter...

     Today was a really weird day! I'm exhausted and I sort of feel like crap! But I am just trying to go with the flow!       I have A LOT of shit coming up, I stared a new medication today and I suspect that's behind my nausea! I'm hoping that it passes soon!       I have a minor surgical procedure coming up at the beginning of next month, once that's over I'm hoping they can point me in the right direction!       I've had so many stomach issues since I had my gallbladder removed! It's been a whole dramatic series of, "since I lost my gallbladder..."     I'm tired and ready for some real answers!      This is why it's so important to be an advocate for yourself!  XOXO 

     I spent the entire day baking!       I wanted to make gluten free and dairy free cinnamon rolls. And that was a 3 hour long process that ended up turning into a very large FAIL!       If you know me in real life, you know i'm an absolute perfectionist! I cannot stand not getting it right! I followed the instructions to a damn T! They didn't turn out, the only thing I can think of is maybe the yeast didn't set up properly or maybe I didn't knead it long enough?!      I've never failed making cinnamon rolls before but I've also never had to substitute for gluten free either! So, it's a learning curve and I know eventually I'll find the perfect recipe!       After that catastrophe, I had to use up some zucchini, because i'm growing it, freezing it, eating it and also getting it from my sister in law who is growing it, eating it and freezing it! And I have A LOT! Not complaining, but I decided to ...

 

     I started my day by finally getting the Harry Potter tattoo that i've been neglecting getting for centuries of my existence! So here we are, the nerd has finally officially been branded!       The shiny stuff is saniderm and it's there to protect and heal my cutie little fella!       Then I went to my nephews soccer game and the entire brute was there, so it was noisy but that's my life! We didn't win, it ended up being 0 to 0, but our boys fought hard!  Here's me and my guy!       And I bought Zayden some soccer socks to match his brothers uniform and I had to get a picture of the two of them together!       All in all it was a good day!       Always count your blessings!  XOXO 

     I'm recharging my batteries today! I need to or else I'll be a puddle of nothingness!       I hope you all have blessed Sunday's! And if your kid goes back to school, God Bless!      If you're a teacher and you go back tomorrow, extra heavy on the GOD BLESS! I'm so appreciative of what you do!  XOXO 

     I’m nothing if not consistent! As the honorary, “magical aunt” I feel it’s my job to start them as young as absolutely possible!!      I didn’t choose the Harry Potter life, the Harry Potter life came flying into my window in the form of a Hogwarts acceptance letter!      I spent the day with this little cutie and his big brother today!

     Today my sister scheduled a tattoo appointment for her and I to get tattoos on MONDAY! I am SO excited! They'll be matching-ish, I have a few days for revisions! I'm SO excited! I've wanted back in the chair since I left after getting my 1/2 sleeve 2ish months ago!       I have an addiction, what can I say?!      We're also preparing for vacation and wanted these particular tattoos before vacay and wanted to give them ample amount of time to heal before being in the sun!!      That's literally my life focus right now! Getting my health in check and preparing for my double vacay! It's a need at this point! I have to leave my monotonous life behind for a couple of weeks and just soak up sun, ride roller coasters and spend copious amounts of unnecessary money!      That's just what doctor Shelby ordered! Yep! If I asked my real doctor she'd also tell me to go, loosen up, unwind a bit an...

     Have you ever read the side effects on doctor prescribed medicine and thought to yourself, NAH, I'll just die of said ailment that's bothering me to begin with?! Because the side effects sound worse than what's bothering you in the first place?!      I just got prescribed something new and it said, "May cause female sexual disfunction in orgasms." (same in guys, BTW!)       NAHHHH, I'M GOOD BRO, I'LL KEEP MY ORGASMS JUST THE WAY THEY ARE THANK YOU!     Like what in the actual fuck?! Don't threaten my good time with those types of open ended threats! I need cold hard facts, am I or am I not going to be able to throw down?!      Also, am I or am I not going to have a leaky gut, diarrhea, rash, will I talk in tongues or will I be completely fine?!     I believe in science, modern technology and I don't think that, "all natural" is always better in ever instance.      But these...

     34 days until I leave for my double vacation! I cannot fucking wait! Y'all have NO idea, I need this vacation sooo bad! I have been under so much pressure and have had the weirdest anxiety about the stupidest shit lately, that I NEED to get the hell out of this town!     It's a week at Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure for Halloween Horror nights! Then  i'm driving to Miami to spend one night there and then hopping on a cruise ship to cruise to Cozumel, Mexico! Which I'm taking my parents and little sister with me, it was their Christmas 2021 gift! (little sister is also coming with me for the first portion of the trip too!)       I've been working my ass off these past 6 months getting myself healthy enough to do this! Healthy enough in the sense that ever since my gallbladder surgery back in 2020, my insides just haven't been the same! So, I've been fighting and advocating for myself to get doctors to hear me wh...

  𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 𝚋𝚘𝚖𝚋: 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚊𝚕𝚜. 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎. 𝙸 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚊 𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚜. *𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚢𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚜* 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?! 𝚆𝚎’𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗! 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝, 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚊𝚕𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 *real* 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚜. 𝙼𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 〰 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝟷𝟹𝟶 𝚙𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜...

     Ending another great night after a day full of good old fashioned quality time! Now we’re watching Lightyear with kettle popped pepper popcorn and I made them some homemade chocolate covered strawberry “nice” cream!      In the middle of the awesomeness, my nephew decided to throw a 16.9 fluid ounce bottle of water all over the living room, obviously it was an accident! so we had to pause to clean that all up! (it was flavored and sticky!) LORD!     Anyway, It was an amazing time with my kiddos and I'm so happy they still want to spend time with their weirdo auntie Shelby! XOXO

     Spending a few days with these goobers!      So far I’ve given Kaydance a faux sleeve of tattoos! Where she then said she wanted to be just like me with my 1/2 sleeve! 😭      Then we made homemade pineapple upside down cake! Normal version and a gluten-free/dairy free version for me! (mines the round one!) Also enjoy that last picture of Keags and I! XOXO

     A piece of my art with a message! A reminder that even if you think you aren't doing good, you are, slow down! Everything will be okay!  XOXO 

     I will be pouring myself into bed today with absolute GLEE! There are some days when I can keep going with a never ending battery supply. Today is not that day.       I have gotten around 4 hours of sleep in the last 48ish hours and I think that mentally and emotionally I am  just done!       If you don't slow down and step back sometimes, you're going to burn yourself out, miss so many amazing things going on around you and I don't want to be one of those people who are just watching their lives pass them by in a tire, stress, anxiety ridden haze because I didn't take the time to stop, step back and realize that even, "Superhero's" need to rest sometimes.       NOT that I'm comparing myself to a superhero, I am far from it, but if I ever hope to emulate one, I need to realize that I can't be everything to everyone all the time.       Sometimes I just have to be here for me and that ...

     I admitted defeat today, I can't give you details just yet, but stay tuned, because I will!       Today I found my body dysmorphia in a serious uproar! So I decided to create a before and after to remind myself that I have come such a long way and I deserve to celebrate myself.      The second I catch myself doubting my progress I like to make a before and after!      If you would have told the girl in the orange shirt just how hard she was going to fight for the girl in green, she would have thought you were a liar.      It wasn’t a lie though, it was the first promise that I actually kept to myself.      I’ve fought so hard and I’ll keep fighting everyday to be the best version of myself. XOXO