Two days...

    I realize I haven't talked about how i've been feeling lately.  In all honesty since the new diet, I have been feeling a lot better! I still haven't been eating a ton, but way more than before. 

    The last two days though, I haven't been feeling the greatest. I was fine all day yesterday but then when it came to be around bedtime, I got a bit of a sour stomach. I took some medicine and I went to bed and woke up feeling better. I assumed I just ate too much yesterday. 

    Cut to today, same thing, I woke up feeling fine and then just out of nowhere, I have a bit of a sour stomach. I haven't taken anything yet because I am trying to see if it's my anxiety, my upcoming period or just me and the new normal. 

    I am still trying to see about getting into a new female doctor who is also my sisters doctor and from how she's taken care of my sister, I know she will allow me to advocate for myself and actually get me the help that I need. She isn't taking new patients as of right now, but I am hopeful that with the recommendation of one of her current patients (AKA my sister) they'll allow me in! I'm calling tomorrow, so wish me all the luck! Because I NEED this. 

    I am so, so tired of feeling like shit! I'm tired of feeling off, I'm tired of being scared to eat, I'm tired of feeling helpless, I am just TIRED. 

Life is for living and right now, I am barely surviving. 

    I know this isn't the truth, I am doing a lot better than some right now, and I don't take that for granted. But the truth is, I have been through a lot and this, this seems to be taking it right out of me. I feel helpless, I feel weak and I feel like no matter what I do, it's never going to be enough for my body. 

    The reality is, I am doing all I can and that's all I can do. 

    I am going to lay down though because like I said, I am not feeling the greatest. Praying for a better day tomorrow! 

XOXO