My Manic...
I have been stressing myself out lately about perfection. I can’t share anything I do unless I know it’s perfect. It’s probably going to give me an ulcer.
I decided today that I didn’t need perfection.
It’s not about that. I mean I’ve always known that but I am so unbelievably hard on myself that I allowed those feelings to creep in and attack my inner peace!
I haven’t felt that manic in about a year! So it was definitely something that I had to take care of right away! I almost forgot that my manic was an emotional response to stress.
I was being unappreciative of my own strengths, too hard on my personal weaknesses and turning a blind eye to my mental state.
I called it quits yesterday and decided to do absolutely nothing all day to let my brain rest and recover from my own abuse. Until inspiration hit and I decided to DOODLE.
I had never done a, “doodle” before where I didn’t spend hours on it perfecting it and making sure it was absolutely perfect before. So I decided I would give myself 30 minutes and if it wasn’t finished or even if I hated it, I would share it anyway.
So here it is:
It sounds so basic, but it freed my brain from that mental state! I don’t care about perfection, I never have! I just wanted to love myself, love what I was doing and be able to accurately express my feelings without feeling like my world was crumbling all around me!
My manic is a result of stress. My stress is a result of an overload of my brain. Both things are unavoidable. I am always going to have stress. The difference between then and now though is that I have ways to get myself unstuck from those tight, manic, depressing, hard spaces. I don’t live there anymore. I don’t allow the devil to pull me down, I don’t allow others to tear me down and most importantly I don’t let myself ignore what’s going on inside me anymore!
Lesson of the day: Don’t let anything disrupt your inner peace! Figure out the problem and attack it head on! Get yourself into the right head space and own it!
I hope you all enjoy your the rest of your week!
XOXO
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