Breaking point...

    No matter how you frame it, I am alone. 

 

    I feel like you spend your entire life building people around you, building a foundation for friendships, relationships and everything in between! 

 

    And for what? In my opinion, you still end up just as alone.

 

    You can be in a sea of people and still feel completely and utterly, all alone. 

 

    I understand that life is different for everyone and you can’t have people there for you at all times of the day and night, but occasionally would be nice. 

 

    I’m there for every single person in my life. Without fail. I move plans, I rearrange and I go above and beyond to make people and moments feel special. 

 

    Do people do that for me? That’s a laugh! 

 

    My mom told me today, “gas is $4.09 a gallon, I’m not driving you to the airport”

 

    “So I said, I’ll put gas in your car...”

 

    “Well it just depends on if i’m throwing a party for your grandparents the day you come home or not..”

 

    OK.. just fucking tell me no. I’ll pay an astronomical amount of money for gas and another 130 to park my car for the time i’ll be gone, continue to pay for THEIR cruise in September, renew my license and pay for passports for the Sept trip to Mexico all in a 5 minute period. 

 

    (The idea behind this was I’d only have to pay for gas and i’d save 130$ for parking... but she doesn’t care because it doesn’t effect her.)

    Crazy seeing how she makes 100,000+ in a year and I make 17,000ish.... cool, cool. 

 

    Just say you don’t give a shit about me... it would make this all a lot easier. 

 

    There’s a lot more, but, I digress, it’s not important. She acts like just because I don’t make as much money as she does I should live in a fucking shelter in a basement cowering with nothing nice and never going anywhere. It’s awesome, maybe I should start doing that. But in a far away land where she doesn’t know where I am...

 

    I need to fucking move.. legit. It’s so not great for my mental health. I am working on it! Promise! 

 

    Anyway, happy fucking weekend! 

 

 

XOXO 

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