We all find a way eventually...

    Not being able to share exiting things with an important person in your life is honestly one of the hardest things. 

    Let me preface this by saying I love this person, a whole lot. She just has a really hard time seeing past herself sometimes. If she’s miserable, everyone has to be miserable. 

 

    I wish that it were different but it isn’t and I know that it probably will never change.

 

    Most parents want their children to grow, be successful, have good things happen to them and always root for them, no matter what. This particular person, doesn’t seem to want to witness any of those things. 

 

    This isn’t all the time, it’s normally only when it inconveniences her, makes her mad, jealous or upset that she finds issue in your actions. To which I have to add is 97% of the time. The other 3% she’s happy for you, rooting for you and or completely un-phased by you. 

 

    She’s not a monster...she just doesn’t know how to be happy. My theory is that she want’s others to feel the way she does, so she spends her time, pissing on everyone else so she doesn’t focus on how much she hates her own life. 

 

    But she refuses to go seek help for her depression and anxiety. She actually refuses to admit that she has either one of those things. As if it would make her any less human if she did. 

 

    She claims it’s because she’s tired and in pain. But nobody can be tired and in pain 24/7 7 days a week. You have to be happy sometimes. 

 

    Anyway... I have to just be okay with it. Because there isn’t anything that I can do about it. I have to work on not letting it hurt me anymore. My feelings aren’t hers to spare. I am a grown adult and I have to just figure out a way to save my feelings from her actions.

 

    I hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend! 

 

    Remember to be kind. Just be fucking kind.

 

XOXO