Level up...

    Being alone is such an alienating and cold feeling. When you don’t have a significant other or many friends you just sort of get used to the quiet.  

    It’s not like I enjoy being alone, but I haven’t found my forever yet. And I don’t feel that it’s necessary to rush things or force things. 

 

    I hate to be a person who says, “I’m going to be forever alone” but, that might be true. 

 

    Even when I am in a room full of people, I still feel pretty alone. I guess I feel like I have to be EVERYTHING for everyone, all while I get subpar leftovers and 1/4 of the attention from others that I give to everyone else. 

 

    Maybe it’s my fault for allowing others to treat me like this? Or maybe it’s the company I keep? I don’t know? All I know is that it’s an empty feeling and I need to do something about it! I am much too important to allow myself to be treated in unfair ways. 

 

    I have worked too hard to build my confidence, get my mental health in check and just be a better version of myself in general to let negativity and hurtful things bring me back down! 

 

    That is what i’m struggling with today! In a sea of people, I still feel all alone. I’m tired of giving my attention to people who don’t deserve it. I’m tired of hearing the same shit every single time I try and have a meaningful, adult conversation. You can’t just keep spewing the same speeches to me over and over and expect me to believe you, over and over again. 

 

    Eventually I just stop believing in you. And I am to that point again! Cleaning out my physical space to make room for more mental space. 

 

    My advice to everyone is this: If you love someone and WANT them in your life, treat them in a way that they NEVER have to wonder how you feel.

 

    Also, if you want to be apart of my life, you have to step up your game! Because I’m changing mine and when I move forward and y'all don’t, I’m not turning back anymore! 

 

XOXO 

 

Happy Thursday, folks! 

Treat ya’self better, babes!