Getting better, while dying!
I am slowly getting better, faster and feeling stronger while working out!
Best believe though that at the end I sound like I am going to suck the Earth inside out with my heavy breathing. 🌍
I biked four miles today in 20 minutes! That’s a whole extra mile in what it took me the last three days to do three miles! So I am getting faster! I am grateful that I am where I am right now! Do I wish I was farther along? Sure! But I am still feeling so grateful and blessed to be in the position I am right now!
My weight loss journey has been eye opening and was exactly what I needed to push forward in life. I was stuck and hated life, the woman in the mirror and the person I was on a day to day basis.
My anxiety and depression were at an all time high. I got to the point where I would LIE to my friends and family about being sick so I didn’t have to go to functions. I wanted to go, but couldn’t stand getting out of bed or the way I looked in clothes to go. Or that I simply couldn’t find the energy to be around people. (Which my anxiety/depression didn’t magically go away, but I am bounds and leaps better than I ever used to be!)
When the pandemic started I was already well into my weight loss journey and I didn’t panic. That was one of the things I noticed first.
EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. In my life asked me HOW. How I wasn’t freaking out, curled up in a ball somewhere in the dark waiting for sudden death.
My answer was simple yet, beautifully complicated! I said:
“I’m not panicked because I’ve been preparing my ENTIRE life for things to go wrong that never even existed. I’m not worried because for my whole life I have been imagining the hardest, most bizarre complications that nobody in their right mind would EVER even think to evaluate in everyday living. I’m not scared because I FEEL better in my mind, body and soul. My mental clarity is different and the fog has been lifted. I don’t feel the weight of the world on my shoulders anymore and that is such a freeing feeling.”
And I still feel that way.
My dad had COVID and was extremely sick.. It was touch and go for awhile and I was scared but had faith. He’s in complete health now.
My mom had a lighter COVID and I was scared, but kept my composure and believed in the power of prayer.
I HAD COVID (as well as my sister!) (thanks dad!) and I didn’t once think I was going to die because I KNEW I was in better health than I’d EVER been in so I was going to be just fine.
I know most of you readers don’t know me. So Here is a small amount of insight before I go:
These things are HUGE for me former cynic like myself. I don’t see everything as darkness now. I don’t have mental fog that clouds my ability to use my better judgment. I am a literal completely different person than I once was and I have fought SO hard to be this woman and I am DAMN proud of her!
XOXO
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