Capture every moment, seize every opportunity!

 

    If you’ve been paying any attention, you know that it has taken me such a long time to be comfortable with myself. 

 

• I used to think that my worth was attached to my clothing size.
• I used to think my worth was attached to the number on the scale.
• I used to think my worth was attached to my ability to be the crowd pleasing entertainer.
• I used to think my worth was attached to how clear my face was.
• I used to think my worth was attached to all the little qualities I seen in all the people who made fun of me and bullied me. “If I’m not like them, I’m worthless.” 

 

 

    Growing up, these thoughts made it so tough to break free from all of those lies. They impacted my childhood and crept up slowly, without warning in adulthood. 

 

1. If you tell yourself daily that you aren’t good enough, you believe it.

 

2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful in adulthood when you spent your youth being called ugly, you automatically think they’re lying to you. 

 

3. When someone tells you that your outfit looks great on you but you spent your youth being called fat..... You automatically think they’re just poking fun at you. 

 

 

    <those ^are^ lies.> 

 

    It has taken me YEARS to reverse the damage that others and of course myself caused me. And truthfully, a few years of therapy. I’m not ashamed that I reached out for help when I needed it most. I’m not ashamed of the fact that I pay someone else to listen to my problems because she is more than just a, “good listener”. She gives me sane, sound advice about how to move on from things, confront what’s bothering me and I get to be 1000% honest with her because she isn’t there to judge me! B has been there for me for the past 3.5 years and I couldn’t have gotten through a lot of shit without her! 

 

    My point is, I wouldn’t have taken that picture 1 year ago. I would have offered to take it for someone else. But with me in the focus lens?! HELL NO! 

 

    These are small things that lead to the big things. I HATED taking pictures of myself, so I have virtually none. Only the ones that people took without my permission and kept squirreled away. 

 

    So I told myself this year, I was going to document EVERYTHING! Because I finally feel comfortable enough to do so! 

 

    It’s such a freeing feeling! 

 

    You seem to glow differently when you’re actually happy! 

 

 

    Advice of the day: Take the picture, smile that smile! Feel all the feels! It doesn’t have to be painful and you don’t have to hate the person looking back at you. That’s a choice. Staying stuck is a choice! 

 

 

 

XOXO