Insatiable Appetites and Discoveries!

    We left off with me saying that, “Having a thirst for knowledge is a real superpower.”

 

    I still feel that way in its entirety. Let me explain to you why I feel that way.

 

    A lot of people think that once they have an education, high school or college that they’ve learned all they can learn; or they don’t desire to learn anymore. Which don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, I don’t look down on people who don’t desire the learn anything more. Trust me, it took me a very LONG time to get to this point.

 

    I never even thought I was worthy of learning anymore than I already knew. I wasn’t a great student in grade school and the thought of schooling in general disgusted me. 

 

    It wasn’t until I was in my senior year of high school that I started to care about what I was learning. Or rather I started believing that I was 1000% worthy of higher education. I had a few good teachers in school, but one that literally gave me the courage to be whatever I wanted to be. He told me that the only person holding me back was me and if I wanted more all I had do is chase it. 

 

    So I did. I graduated with my bachelors degree in 3 years instead of 4, I graduated 2nd overall in my class, with one of my best friends in school edging me out for first- (she worked hard and deserved it!) I am not sad whatsoever! In high school, I graduated 5th from the BOTTOM! Hell, my parent’s were just glad I graduated! It took me about a year after I graduated high school to decide to fully commit to college. I was, “sewing my wild oats” I couldn’t be happier that I took the plunge! 

 

    College lit a fire in me. A burning passion to learn and step out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone was keeping to myself and don’t get me wrong, my innate, “fourness” forces me to keep to myself. I have an anxiety disorder, I was diagnosed with it forever ago and my social anxiety is absolutely horrendous, devastatingly so. But I don’t give up, I push away from the, “social table” when I know I’ve reached my limits. And trust me, there ARE limits! If you’ve never experienced chronic anxiety, social anxiety or general anxiety ever, I am so incredibly happy for you. Because it’s not fun. It’s stressful, painful at times, alarmingly EXHAUSTING and A LOT of work. 

 

    Anyway, it’s not about that. It’s about my insatiable thirst for learning. I love learning everything that I can! As I said previously, I really like being able to be knowledgeable in A LOT of topics. I don’t like feeling like a fish out of water when I am tossed into a social situation where people are talking about specific topics and I don’t have anything to say. Not only does that trigger my awkward social quirks, it makes me feel sick to my stomach, like everyone is looking at the girl with nothing to say. Like I said before, It’s A LOT of work! I’m A LOT of work. But I’ve grown to realize that even though a lot goes into keeping my feet on the ground, I am worthy of the effort. I’m not broken or damaged... just a little quirky and divergent. 

    I’ve recently learned that it has quite a bit to do with my INFJ status. I get an idea in my head and I can’t stop thinking about it! I have to learn all that I can about the subject. It’s hard to keep my brain focused on just one thing! I have the desire to learn about so much, that sometimes I quite literally squirrel out and move onto my next subject. I guess I learn best with organized chaos! 

 

    Lesson of the day: Don’t short change yourself! You ARE worthy! You ARE beautifully unique and that MATTERS! You MATTER! 

 

Here's to learning! I can't wait to see what I discover next! 

XOXO