Or like, are you guys normal?!

    Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in some sort of alternate reality? Like the realization that what’s happening around you can’t be real and yet, here you are. I know that being tired is apart of life, but I just didn’t think it was possible to be THIS tired. I feel like I haven’t slept in 100 years, which would be the farthest thing from the truth; but the exhaustion is starting to set in. I have so much shit that I have to accomplish in a day that sometimes I trade doing things for sleep. So in any given day, I will allot myself around 4 hours to actual sleep. I know that’s really not healthy or sane but when there’s only 24 hours in a day and everyone needs something from you and you need stuff from yourself, where is the time to rest? 

 

    The term, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” seems more and more relevant every single day! 

 

    I am working hard on making sleep a priority! Because I know how important it is and I have my whole life to get stuff done, but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with my to-do list that I just, well, cross sleeping off of it! 

 

    Anybody else think that sleep is overrated orrrr are you guys normal? No? Just me? Cool! 

 

    So I am consistently working on my own personal toxic traits and let me tell you there are a fucking LOT of them! I’ve been creating these toxic traits my entire life, in a way they we’re my ways of coping with the hard things in my life. I used them almost like drugs, excuses to be reckless and careless. I am definitely not the same girl I used to be and I’m grateful, so grateful. My personal growth over the last several months has been so enlightening! I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned about myself and learned to love about myself! Things I used to hate about myself, I now love! Which is a huge step forward! 

 

    When the world tells you that nobody will be able to love you until you love yourself, I felt that; truly and deeply. So I started there! Because I knew that one of my main issues was not loving myself in it’s entirety...not giving myself permission to feel loved or seeing things in myself that I believed was lovable! 

 

    Now I still don’t know if I am completely lovable... I don’t know if there is a man out there who can love all of me, all of my quirks, my whims, my feelings, my damage, my past, my everything. I am A LOT of work (so I’ve been told!) and I just hope that somebody out there, will see that I am not broken; just learning and growing as I go! 

 

    In the end we either figure it out or we don’t and I plan on getting it all figured out, I have wasted so much of my life getting it wrong and I am so ready to finally be on the right side of it all. 

 

 

XOXO