An edible Christmas Eve!

Edibles: What they don’t tell you. 

 

    When you have anxiety like me you try many, many things in order to help with the overwhelming feelings and emotions that you go through on a regular basis. 

 

    I’ve tried prescription medications, many of them! Some worked alright and others made me feel completely out of touch with reality. I suppose it’s always like that when trying to find what works with a persons chemical makeup.

 

    Before I get too deep into this story, I absolutely hate taking medication of any kind, I usually wait until my head feels like it’s going to explode before I even take Tylenol. So when my doctor suggested that I tried edibles as a way to calm myself down from my heavy anxiety attacks, I was very hesitant to say the least.

 

    Coming from a girl who has smoked pot a few times in her lifetime (high school was a very weird time for me, okay?) I thought I knew what to expect. I finally decided that I would just try it out and see how it made me feel; what could I possibly lose except money and time?

 

    Holidays are stressful! When you have social anxiety, every single thing you do in public feels like a chore and when people are involved (no matter who they are) everything is heightened. Every year on Christmas Eve my parents come over to my house and we do dinner and exchange gifts, I’m the only one of their kids who doesn’t currently have children and so we made this our tradition instead.

 

    I woke up early so that I could prepare for the day, take all the alone time I needed and just prepare to be social. I was already so full of anxiety because sometimes just the thought of being social is enough to send me into panic mode. They’re my parents, I know! But being social with anxiety is literally exhausting! It takes all of my energy plus some and a lot of times you’ll catch me taking a bangin’ nap afterwords; just saying! 

 

    I was talking to my sister and she told me that there was no time like the present to try some of my edible and see how it makes me feel in social situations and even though I was nervous, I agreed. I was instructed to eat a singular bite of the chocolate chip cookie and it should do the trick. I take my medium sized bite and wait for something to happen. 

    Around 30 minutes later, I still wasn’t feeling anything.....SO I ate HALF the cookie. Are you starting to see sirens go off yet? 👀 I hopped in the shower after that and within fifteen minutes my world was SPINNING. I feel blessed that my sister was with me because after the shower, I couldn’t function a single bit. I couldn’t even hold my own head up. She helped me brush my hair, which she described as trying to tame Regan MacNeil during her barfing scene (The Exorcist, 1973.) At that point I only had around 4 hours until my parent’s showed up for a, “lovely” Christmas Eve celebration with their youngest daughter. My only solution was to try and sleep it off because there was no way in hell that I was letting my parents see me in that condition, that was a whole different kind of paranoia. 

    My sister gets me in my bed and sat next to me to make sure I didn’t die in my sleep (HAHA, I felt like I was going to die, I was convinced, actually!) I could feel my blood pumping into my chest and my face felt completely numb. 🙈

 

    As I was laying there trying to sleep, I remember my tongue feeling like it had been stung by a hundred bees. It felt SO swollen, It didn’t feel like it could fit in my mouth, whatsoever and I was terrified I was going to choke and die on it. So what did I do? I stuck it out of my mouth like a dog and fell asleep that way. I seriously felt like I blinked and it was already time to get up! 

 

    I had 15 minutes to compose myself because my parents were on the way and I woke up still HIGHER than a kite. My sister brought me to the living room, sat me in the corner of the couch and tossed a blanket on me. Here’s how our conversation went:

Me: Mom and dad are going to know and be so mad at me.

Carly: You’re an adult and if you just stay calm, they won’t know! You’ll be fine!

 

    All while knowing full well, they we’re going to know! (Hard eye roll!)

 

Me: Are you sure they won’t know? I'm acting normal? Is this normal?

 

    Yeah, I didn’t seem normal when I was saying exactly 1 word a minute. Talking slow so that way I was sure they all understood me. Apparently in my head I was talking normal but according to Carly I was speaking slow and had long pauses in between each word. 

 

Carly: You are an adult and if you don’t tell them you’re going to be fine. You just have to get through dinner, presents and a little conversation.

 

    And here it is, a hard knock on the door. I am covered up in the corner of my couch, literally shaking because I was so paranoid. In walks my parents with fresh pizza and as they were walking up my stairs..... I BLURTED OUT...

 

“MOM, DAD, I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE, I’M STONED AS FUCK RIGHT NOW!” 

 

    They reached the top of my stairs and they both are just staring at me. 

 

Mom: Merry Christmas Eve....

 

    Carly gave them the lowdown of what was going on while the three of them ate Pizza in the kitchen. I however couldn’t move from my spot, I felt like I was going to hurl. 

 

    My dad kept telling me to come and eat pizza and it would make me feel better. The three of them sat in the kitchen enjoying dinner and my sideshow; all while they laughed at me! They finally got me in the kitchen, I ate a TON of pizza and turns out dad was right, It made me feel SO much better! 

 

    We continued the night with presents and conversations and tons and tons of jokes about me and my stoned ass! I still get razzed about it to this day and this happened 2 years ago. 

 

    Here’s what nobody tells you: When you bake it, it’s a HELL of a lot stronger than when you smoke it.(at least in my experience!) 

 

    Here’s what you should do: DON’T eat more than is recommended! It will straight fuck you up! 

 

    Here’s what I’d do different: Get a different kind, try it again and only eat what is recommended !

 

    I hope you guys enjoyed my edible story! 

 

    Happy Tuesday, y’all! Keep grinding! 

 

X0XO