A Goddamn celebration!

    Today is a celebration post! We’re going to talk about how grateful I am that I made the decision to get healthy. 

 

Life happens you guys and depression sets in and is real. The things that damage you are the things that eventually kill you if you let them. I was letting my anxiety and depression kill me slowly. My vice was eating and being, “lazy” because I didn’t want to do anything. My love for adventure had been long gone and my love for myself was nonexistent. 

 

I think everybody goes through things that change them physically and mentally. We can think we’re the strongest people in the world and at the end of the day, we’re just human. I let my humanity go. I was a walking, talking shell of the former person I once was. 

 

Luckily for me, the people in my life encouraged me and told me that I could do anything I set my mind to. I hated the way I felt, the way I looked and how others looked at me. They didn’t know what I’d gone through, they didn’t know me from Adam and yet their blind judgments of me killed me inside. Which lead me to hide from the world even longer! 

 

So here I am celebrating! I woke up one day and just hit the play button on my life again. It’s been an amazing feeling living again, feeling. Not everything feels like it’s going in slow motion around me anymore.

 

Now I am working on every single aspect of my life. Some people might call me damaged but for the first time in my life, I DON’T FUCKING CARE! My confidence is slowly creeping back in and once I’m 100% back to myself, I know I can be unstoppable if I don’t quit on myself again! 

 

My therapist, (Yes I see one, she’s amazing and I don’t care who knows!) always ends our sessions with these questions: What’s one thing you love about yourself and one thing you want to change?

 

Today’s was this:

 

One thing I love about myself: Selfishly, I love that I am so honest. Because it allows me to be honest with myself when I need to be, which is every single day.

 

One thing I’d change: The fact that I question my own confidence. Am I good enough? Do you think he even remembers me? Silly things like that. 

 

And that’s where we’re going to end this post. If you were asked those questions, what would you say?

 

XOXO

This is raw and I couldn't be prouder of myself for getting myself out of that dark place!