I have been in full flare for the past two days. What does this mean? Well it means something different for every person with the disease, because we all flare differently.  Here are some of my symptoms:  Extreme nausea. So cold I'm shaking out of my skin but literally sweating bullets with absolutely no fever. Feeling like i'm going to vomit whenever I move my head.  Diarrhea.  Loss of appetite; like I won't eat for days.  Headache that won't go away. All over body pain; stiffness everywhere. Sleeping with a puke bucket in my bed with me. Inability to drink fluids. Dizziness. Extreme fatigue.       Those are just the first 11 things I could think of right off the bat. I am MISERABLE.       I swear I'm not trying to complain, because I'm alive and that counts for a lot. But I am having a hard time being okay with the quality of life I'm actually living.  I guess i'm just here for a good t...

I am going on a social media cleanse! I've stopped posting in almost all platforms and just kind of stepped away from everything! I needed a mental break from everything. I stopped doing art, I stopped my side businesses, I stopped forcing activity and just started living my life. It was a very freeing feeling!  I'm ready to get back to my life now, but I feel overwhelmed with responsibility to preform, to be the person I was before. It's becoming a lot harder to keep my faith, keep my hopes up!  I'm still learning how to trust myself with my new role as chronically ill girl. Because I pride myself on not needing anyone or anything.  And I'm afraid this time, this time I'm going to need some people to get through it all!  XOXO 

Idiopathic gastroparesis refers to  gastroparesis of unknown cause ; that is, not from diabetes, not from prior gastric surgery, and not related to other endocrine, neurologic, rheumatologic causes of gastroparesis. In addition, it is not related to medications that can delay gastric emptying. here's some facts  here are some more facts This is what I'm dealing with on a daily basis! (plus so much more, but I don't like to feel like I'm complaining!)  Anywho, have a blessed day!  XOXO 

I don't talk about the hard days too often but today, today I'm going to share my hard day.  As most of you know, I have a GI disease and it's categorized as an eating disorder. With this disorder, it makes it really hard to eat, absorb nutrition, digest and a lot of things in between.  Often times when I eat I feel like i've eaten a fist full of glass shards. I wish I was being dramatic! I can't explain it, the next day I always feel like I've been punched in the gut a few dozen times.  My body just aches. Which in turn makes me laggy and lethargic for the next day. Because I never seem to be able to get enough sleep!  Anyway, I guess this is just apart of the new life. It's just hard to get used to all of it. XOXO 

I have been really into true crime lately and it's making me so untrusting of the world. Even more so than before! People are batshit fucking crazy!  One thing I don't get is this: If you're unhappy in a marriage, get a fucking divorce don't kill your spouse. Lord Jesus.  And yet, still I watch it, because I'm curious.  Curiosity killed the cat. But not me, because I don't trust ANYONE! haha Okay, i'm done, have a good day or whatever!  XOXO 

I am starting a menu for my holiday baking (not that I can eat a whole lot of it, but I still like to share it with those I love!)   I always make homemade cinnamon rolls and cookies. But I feel like I want to broaden my horizons and make more!  So i'm asking, yet again for my readers to send me their favorite holiday recipes because this year I want to challenge myself!  Send them to my email or comment!  XOXO 

Welcome to the busiest season of the year! I hope you've all got your ducks in a row because this season always fucks us up a little bit! Plus that it's cold and flu season so, like stay home if you're sick and wash your hands with soap and water you filthy fucking animals!  XOXO 

Round two of medications start today! I’m optimistic! So cheers to the next 14 days of new challenges, difficult days and hopeful outcomes! P.s. my under eye bags are just paid actors! Always packed for a road trip!

Made my awesome mail guys some cookies! Thanks for coming to my house 65 times a day with packages! I see you and I appreciate you!

Fun facts about me! Because trends and transparency and stuff 1. I love baking and cooking! 2. Learning for the sake of learning sparks so much joy within me! 3. I lost 130 pounds naturally over the course of a year and a half! 4. I only get hungry about every 4 days. 5. Music is my love language, it’s always on! 6. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder or chronic disease a few months ago. 7. Art is a deep passion of mine! 8. I no longer care about what others think or say about me. 9. I’m perpetually cold. 10. I’m actually blind. Four eyes for life!! What are 10 random facts about you?!