Round two of medications start today! I’m optimistic! So cheers to the next 14 days of new challenges, difficult days and hopeful outcomes! P.s. my under eye bags are just paid actors! Always packed for a road trip!

Made my awesome mail guys some cookies! Thanks for coming to my house 65 times a day with packages! I see you and I appreciate you!

Fun facts about me! Because trends and transparency and stuff 1. I love baking and cooking! 2. Learning for the sake of learning sparks so much joy within me! 3. I lost 130 pounds naturally over the course of a year and a half! 4. I only get hungry about every 4 days. 5. Music is my love language, it’s always on! 6. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder or chronic disease a few months ago. 7. Art is a deep passion of mine! 8. I no longer care about what others think or say about me. 9. I’m perpetually cold. 10. I’m actually blind. Four eyes for life!! What are 10 random facts about you?!  

     Trying to find gratitude in each day I’m able to get up and do normal things.      One rare mistake in an emergency surgery that couldn’t be stopped took away my everyday normal.      So I’m remembering that there’s seasons for everything and this isn’t the end, just apart of the journey.  

Found some energy to bake today and made some double chocolate chip cookies! XOXO  

     It’s been a hot minute since I shared my face on this app, so I figured why the hell not?!      Since my last post about my GP I went into private mode a little bit.      I tend to struggle privately, but something I’m learning about myself is that I have to struggle publicly sometimes in order to hold myself accountable for the way I’m feeling.      I’m doing better every single day! Learning what my body can and cannot handle.      I dropped 16 pounds from being unable to eat for 2 weeks. My Gastroenterologist and dietician are on the ball helping me figure out what my body can handle eating.      I’m just grateful to be alive and doing well today! That’s all I can ask for! XOXO

Listen, if you're not listening to music every second of every day, are you even living?!  Probably not.  Even in bed, feeling like shit 89% of the time warrants me to listen to music, I don't even care if I have a headache, something is on in the distance.  It gets me through some of the most awful days!  Here's the task I have for you, tell me some of your favorite bands! i'm loving the emails ya'll are sending in! Keep them coming!  XOXO 

     I need to get back to my life, but I'm having the hardest time getting back into the swing if things. I have a commission, I'm just struggling to WANT to get back into in. I'm lacking my fire. I know I'll find it again, but in the meantime, I HAVE to get this commission completed and I don't feel creative one bit!      My whole life was put on hold for nearly a month and now that I am trying to put my life back together I am trying to find the right amount of balance!       Life is all about balance it seems as though we're always trying to find the right amount of it all in life. Is it achievable?  I don't know, but I certainly would love to find out someday!  XOXO 

 It's this... It's good depression music! 

     I am still struggling every single day, I'm getting stronger but the struggle is still very much there. I'm doing the very best I can and I know that's all I can ask for!       I'm feeling defeated and angry and betrayed by my own body. But with time, I know that I can get through  it.       Here's to another day!  XOXO