Another day, another piece of artwork! This time, it's Holiday edition! I feel like this would make a beautiful Christmas card!      Holly berries and Juniper berries, what a gorgeous combo!  XOXO   

I'm doing the best I can to be patient with my body as I adjust to it's new reality! I'm MAD that my body no longer works the way it should. I MAD that people keep telling me to be positive and upbeat. I'm MAD that people keep telling me that, "If i'd eat it would make me feel so much better"  I'm MAD. I'm GRIEVING the life I had before. I need to allow myself to feel this way so I can work on getting over it. Because if I don't I'm going to be mad forever and I don't want that. I want to find my way back to happiness.  So it's okay if it's taking more time than I thought it would. It's OKAY to be MAD and SAD and ANGRY!  XOXO   

  It’s been awhile since I’ve had an update on my little rescued ditch kitty! Sirius is thriving! he came to me at 1.5 pounds soaking wet and he’s up to 7.5 pounds now! Which is perfectly in line for his age! He’s all up to date on his vaccinations and he doesn’t have to go back for another year! (Unless he needs to!) His personality can only be described as wildly unpredictable and entertaining! His favorite things are wet food, cucumbers and pull tabs from my almond milk and playing nonstop!

HEY GUYS! IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I WENT ON A FULL ON HIATUS FROM MY LIFE. BETWEEN BEING SICK ALL THE TIME, DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS, NEW MEDICATIONS, CHIROPRACTOR APPOINTMENTS AND JUST KEEPING UP WITH THE EVERY DAY, I LOST TRACK OF MY DAYS!  I AM GOING TO BE TRYING TO MAKE A TRIUMPHANT COMEBACK AND GET YOU ALL UPDATED WITH THE LATEST AND NOT SO GREATEST AS BEST I CAN! STICK AROUND THOUGH BECAUSE I'LL BE HERE SPILLING MY USUAL TEA AND BORING YOU WITH THE MUNDANENESS OF MY LIFE!  XOXO 

  Listen, I’m in my cookie era! Here’s what I did! I made a double batch, scooped them and placed them on parchment paper to keep them separated. Placed them in freezer bags and then froze the second batch. That way I have chemical free cookies ready to take out of the freezer whenever I want and bake fresh! This way I can bake 2 if I want instead of making up a whole batch.

I jumped back into illustration after a mild hiatus (minus commissions!) and let me tell you, it feels so good to create just to create again! This brought me so much joy to create and my maximalist heart had a little bit of trouble putting the pencil down! I’m on a mission to only do things that bring me joy from here on out. No exceptions!  

Having access to adult money is ridiculous sometimes! Gets notification: “Your TV will be delivered Saturday!” Gets another notification: “Your remaining packages will be being delivered several a day until Christmas” Like okay, Siri! Thanks for reminding me of my inability to stick to the budget I created each week! I go over it by an offensive amount each week! I should know by now that I can't even follow my own rules.  If you're good at this kind of stuff, I applaud you!  XOXO  Also, thanks for selling me out, SIRI- you bitch! 

 

I start Christmas shopping 3 months before said holiday! Because I don't like the last minute scramble. Plus that I have a HUGE family! Think 21 immediate family members... My budget starts at 500$ for the season because I'm going to, "reign it in" this year. I literally say that EVERY year and then proceed to go over it by an offensive amount! This year so far I'm already in the 1000$ range, because I can't just get one kid, one thing, it's gotta be even. (This is a passed down trait from my mother!)  Anyway, I am ALMOST done, thank the Lord! How's your holiday shopping coming?! XOXO 

My last 24 hours have been so exhausting. If you've been reading along, here's a minor look into my last 24 hours... I’m in a full Gastroparesis flare. Which means a few things: I’m going to be extremely tired the next few days. I won’t eat for several days. It’ll be a struggle getting out of bed to do normal activities. Physical pain and discomfort. constant nausea. Headache from lack of sleep, food and electrolytes. There’s more but I’m too tired to go into more detail! Hopefully this flare doesn’t last as long as the last one (3 weeks) There's a lot more that happens to me physcially, but I am just so tired. I don't wish this upon anyone! This is tough! #transparency #livingmytruth #gastroparesis

     I have been in full flare for the past two days. What does this mean? Well it means something different for every person with the disease, because we all flare differently.  Here are some of my symptoms:  Extreme nausea. So cold I'm shaking out of my skin but literally sweating bullets with absolutely no fever. Feeling like i'm going to vomit whenever I move my head.  Diarrhea.  Loss of appetite; like I won't eat for days.  Headache that won't go away. All over body pain; stiffness everywhere. Sleeping with a puke bucket in my bed with me. Inability to drink fluids. Dizziness. Extreme fatigue.       Those are just the first 11 things I could think of right off the bat. I am MISERABLE.       I swear I'm not trying to complain, because I'm alive and that counts for a lot. But I am having a hard time being okay with the quality of life I'm actually living.  I guess i'm just here for a good t...

I am going on a social media cleanse! I've stopped posting in almost all platforms and just kind of stepped away from everything! I needed a mental break from everything. I stopped doing art, I stopped my side businesses, I stopped forcing activity and just started living my life. It was a very freeing feeling!  I'm ready to get back to my life now, but I feel overwhelmed with responsibility to preform, to be the person I was before. It's becoming a lot harder to keep my faith, keep my hopes up!  I'm still learning how to trust myself with my new role as chronically ill girl. Because I pride myself on not needing anyone or anything.  And I'm afraid this time, this time I'm going to need some people to get through it all!  XOXO 

Idiopathic gastroparesis refers to  gastroparesis of unknown cause ; that is, not from diabetes, not from prior gastric surgery, and not related to other endocrine, neurologic, rheumatologic causes of gastroparesis. In addition, it is not related to medications that can delay gastric emptying. here's some facts  here are some more facts This is what I'm dealing with on a daily basis! (plus so much more, but I don't like to feel like I'm complaining!)  Anywho, have a blessed day!  XOXO 

I don't talk about the hard days too often but today, today I'm going to share my hard day.  As most of you know, I have a GI disease and it's categorized as an eating disorder. With this disorder, it makes it really hard to eat, absorb nutrition, digest and a lot of things in between.  Often times when I eat I feel like i've eaten a fist full of glass shards. I wish I was being dramatic! I can't explain it, the next day I always feel like I've been punched in the gut a few dozen times.  My body just aches. Which in turn makes me laggy and lethargic for the next day. Because I never seem to be able to get enough sleep!  Anyway, I guess this is just apart of the new life. It's just hard to get used to all of it. XOXO 

I have been really into true crime lately and it's making me so untrusting of the world. Even more so than before! People are batshit fucking crazy!  One thing I don't get is this: If you're unhappy in a marriage, get a fucking divorce don't kill your spouse. Lord Jesus.  And yet, still I watch it, because I'm curious.  Curiosity killed the cat. But not me, because I don't trust ANYONE! haha Okay, i'm done, have a good day or whatever!  XOXO 

I am starting a menu for my holiday baking (not that I can eat a whole lot of it, but I still like to share it with those I love!)   I always make homemade cinnamon rolls and cookies. But I feel like I want to broaden my horizons and make more!  So i'm asking, yet again for my readers to send me their favorite holiday recipes because this year I want to challenge myself!  Send them to my email or comment!  XOXO 

Welcome to the busiest season of the year! I hope you've all got your ducks in a row because this season always fucks us up a little bit! Plus that it's cold and flu season so, like stay home if you're sick and wash your hands with soap and water you filthy fucking animals!  XOXO