Every season...

    I don't know why but today feels like my last normal day before a lot of things change. I have my first doctor appointment tomorrow.It's my first appointment at a real doctor in about 4-5 years. It's the initial appointment, so basically just a full physical. I just have a feeling that it's the first appointment of many. 

    There is very good chance that I'm wrong and there isn't that much wrong with me. But I feel like there is something majorly wrong. Lately my body has been feeling cancery. I KNOW that sounds crazy. But it could be two types based on my symptoms. Ovarian or breast. Cancer does run in my family and I can't lie, I AM crazy, I realize. But anxiety and fear can do that to you. 

    I PRAY that I am not in that deep, I PRAY that it's a vitamin deficiency but based on my prior experience in the luck department, I am not a person who generally has any. 

    I also have another surgery in my brain, which would be awful but there's so many things that could be wrong. 

    My heart so BADLY wants to believe that only good things are ahead and that my new doctor is going to fix me right up, but my brain, my fucking brain wants to tell me A LOT of other things. 

    Anyway, happy end of the month! ONTO NEW THINGS!

Also; 

    Every season demands change, it’s up to us whether or not we answer to those demands or we fold under the pressure. Today, I choose to rise to the demands of the new season ahead!