Broken Pottery...
It’s been weighing heavy on my heart lately so I feel like I need to say something about confidence.
It has taken me such a long time to find mine. To be okay with the person that I am. Be comfortable in my own skin and know that the only person who can honestly judge me is God and myself.
I still sometimes take it to heart when someone doesn’t like me and I always immediately think, “what could I have done or said for them to not like me?”
I think it’s human nature to think that at times and being an INFJ and 4 on the Enneagram scale, I think it runs through me like the blood in my veins.
It has taken me years, literal years for me to get to this place where I’ve accepted that some people just don’t like me and it’s perfectly OK! I won’t change who I am for anyone, unless I am madly in love with you.. I’d change for you (whoever he’s going to be...*heavy eyeroll!*) but not so much that I lose who I am. She’s far too important to me and I’ve worked far too hard to throw it all away over someone who can’t see me for who I already am.
I literally take pictures of myself and then analyze them for hours even days before I post them or share them with others. I am so hard on myself and it’s unnecessary. I am who I am. I don’t have perfect skin or teeth, my hair is a wreck 88% of the time, my smile is probably crooked, I have imperfections, dry skin and my eyebrows always need to be plucked, I swear! But I know that It goes deeper than cosmetics. Beauty doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from confidence. You radiate what you radiate. I’ll say that again, You radiate what YOU radiate! If you radiate confidence, you’re going to shine in confidence.
It’s a hard thing to find and it’s even harder to hold onto once you’ve found it. Because one comment from someone who doesn’t even matter can shake you, make you evaluate and judge yourself again. The truth is, well the truth is that what others think about you doesn’t matter nearly as much as we always think it does. WHO are they to judge YOU and vise-verse. The naked honest truth is that when someone judges us harshly, we are judging ourselves in the same way, often times much harsher.
The bottom line is, you’re going to believe every lie your mind tells you. It’s unavoidable. But with work and acceptance, you can learn to love yourself for exactly who you are.
One of the things that I’ve been working on this year is just that. Allowing myself to love, appreciate and accept myself for the person that I am instead of who I think the world wants me to be! It has brought me so much closer to myself and grounded me. I feel roots growing, I feel happiness escaping and I feel peace spreading though my soul. I’ve always yearned to be the happiest version of myself...it turns out that happiness is a journey and not a destination. It’s like anything else. Once you find it, you can always lose it again. Which is why it does us well to remember that the work that we do on ourselves is never ending and that there is always room for improvement!
Find joy in the journey and don’t get too hung up on the destination! I think that you’ll find that you’re a lot happier and more okay with who you are than you originally thought! Broken pottery
XOXO 💚
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